


Sometimes it just ends

by Sashaya



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, The Author Regrets Everything, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-15
Packaged: 2017-12-26 16:52:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/968311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashaya/pseuds/Sashaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes we need to choose and sometimes we miss our chances.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes it just ends

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta - Nehelena!

“I can’t wait anymore, Haruka” he says and his words are so sad, it’s bone-crushing. “And I’m sorry that I can’t be the one to deserve you” then he leaves with his sad eyes and bleeding heart. And Haruka doesn’t call after him.  
Days come and pass and Makoto isn’t back. He’s not at school and Haruka’s not invited in his house, while Mrs. Tachibana only sadly shakes her head. Ren and Ran don’t want to talk to him and they stick their tongues at him, even if Mr. Tachibana smacks them on the heads as punishment.  
Nagisa looks at him half-angrily, half-pitying. And doesn’t talk to him. Rei just smiles sadly but follows Nagisa, whom he trusts. 

*

Haruka is alone and for the first time he didn’t choose it. No-one holds his hands out to him and helps him up to the shore. 

*

He doesn’t swim anymore. No-one comes to see him. No-one makes sure he won’t be late for classes.

*

He’s never been so alone. 

*

He misses Makoto. 

*

“Mako-chan! Mako-chan!” Nagisa yells somewhere in the background. Haruka doesn’t look up. “You gotta see Rei-chan’s swimming! He’s getting better!” there’s Rei’s fumbling, embarrassed but clearly proud. And Makoto’s soft chuckle.  
He walks away. 

*

He’s cold. 

*

“Yes, mother, I am taking care of myself” he says in the phone. “Yes, I understand you won’t come home this week. No, mother, I am not angry. No, not disappointed. I understand you and father need to work. No, I’m not feeling lonely. M-… Makoto’s keeping me company. Make sure father doesn’t overwork himself. I love you too”  
He’s sure she believes him.

*

“Rin”  
“Haruka”  
They’re standing in front of his house and Haruka can’t deal with him.  
“Go home” he says to Rin and closes the door. When he goes to the shop later, Rin’s not there.  
He doesn’t care. 

*

“Nagisa…” Makoto starts but Nagisa shakes his head vigorously.  
“Let’s go, Mako-chan” Nagisa drags him away and Makoto’s only slightly reluctant.  
Haruka goes home and doesn’t hear his phone ringing.  
He sits in the tub and cries, until he can’t breathe anymore.  
He doesn’t go to school the next day.  
He doesn’t sleep that night and doesn’t eat, when the morning comes.  
He lies in his bed and thinks. And thinks.  
He misses Makoto. And Nagisa. And Rei.  
And he doesn’t think of Rin because he doesn’t have any energy left in him. He closes that chapter and moves on.

*

But he’s alone. 

*

“Haruka!”  
Haruka doesn’t move and doesn’t walks to the window. He doesn’t look outside to see Makoto in his backyard.  
“Haruka!”  
Makoto’s voice is close to panic and there’s still something raw. Haruka curls into himself.  
He’s not crying but he almost is.  
“Haruka!”  
Makoto doesn’t come in. He closed the backdoor, when Rin came the first time.  
His phone rings. His hand hover over the cell.  
“ _Haruka_ ” Makoto’s voice is hoarse.  
“I’m sorry, Makoto” Haruka says. He’s not breaking down. “Did something happen?”  
“ _Open up, Haruka_ ” Makoto begs.  
“I’m sorry” Haruka repeats. “I’m sorry that I’m like this. I’m sorry I hurt you”  
“ _Haruka_ ” Makoto’s voice is like a whisper or a caress. Haruka flinches and closes his eyes.  
“I’m sorry that I’m so blind. I’m sorry that I destroyed it all. I’m sorry I don’t deserve you”  
“ _Haruka_ ”  
“I’m sorry I won’t swim with you again” he hangs up and hears Makoto scream outside. He closes the window and calls his mother. 

*

His things are gone and the house looks empty and cold. Makoto shivers and takes a deep breath. There’s a paper on the table and he picks it up. He doesn’t read it because he knows the words.  
 _I’m sorry, Makoto. I won’t swim with you again. I’m sorry I was greedy. I’m sorry I didn’t see you. I’m sorry you had to put up with me. I’m sorry I took your time. I’m sorry I hurt you._  
 _I’m sorry I was late, Makoto and I was blind._  
 _Rin was never the one I cared about the most._

*

Makoto doesn’t cry and doesn’t scream. He’s not angry and doesn’t blame anyone.  
He just says  
“I love you”  
and walks away. 

*

Somewhere, Haruka feels like he’s running away. He doesn’t turn back.


End file.
